The Myth of Normal 114

Rae’s diarized correspondence with the baby growing inside her showed how much she intuitively understood, long before I did, about human development and about the dynamics that so often distort its natural course in this culture. In our chapter on trauma, I pointed out that prior to becoming creators of our environment, we are its creations. Before we develop the capacity to take part in constructing our universe, the world fashions us. By what medium? At the beginning, through the bodies and minds and circumstances of our parents, who themselves are molded by the state of the world around them and by the histories of preceding generations. In this way, our own bodyminds are products of the larger culture from the start, a life course that begins with conception. Before proceeding further, a necessary caution. Many readers will feel some alarm at the phrase “begins with conception,” which has been heavily politicized in the ongoing cultural/religious debate over abortion rights. It is easy to see how a science-based recognition of the needs of the unborn can become political fodder for an anti-choice/“pro-life” view. All the more reason that I be extremely clear about what I do and don’t mean. As a physician, I am well aware of the suffering imposed when women’s right to choose is denied. There is no argument in this chapter, or anywhere in this book, for denying the right of autonomy when it comes to making such life decisions. It has never been more vital that we speak about human development and its womb-to-tomb trajectory. It is also a highly delicate matter. For one thing, looking squarely at anything involving harm to children is difficult, often painful. Worse, when these topics arise, mothers and fathers might get the impression they are being judged, castigated, or impugned, which is doubly unfortunate: first, because in this culture too many parents—and I speak as one myself, three times over—already shoulder crippling guilt, already feel defensive; second, because blame is neither helpful nor remotely justified. We are all doing our best. My contention—really, the thrust of this whole book—is that our best deserves to be better, and can be if we incorporate the